Monday, February 16, 2009

Today...

My baby is 1 month old.

People keep asking me what it feels like to be a mother... Before I had him everyone told me that my life would never be the same, which is true, but not in the way I expected. I feel a new, intense weight of responsibility. Every thought I have concerns him. I think that's what my Mother meant when she said that I would never be free again - I don't do anything anymore without thinking of him first - anything at all.

I feel overwhelmed with happiness, and tiredness, and sometimes extreme frustration, but also total contentment and fulfillment - and this is just the beginning. I know that I would never have made it through this past month without all the support I have had from family and friends. So, thank you to all of you for the comments, phone calls, emails, visits, meals, gifts, and physical help with the baby. It has meant so much to us.

I find myself looking forward now and not hoping so much that things will stay the same. James is growing fast and is more responsive everyday, and I love watching his progress. You were all right - it has only gotten better.

5 comments:

kellymccaleb said...

totally get what you're saying! there is no way to prepare for all those emotions! i am still so amazed by how cate guides my every thought.

Anabelle said...

it does get better... better and better everyday. right now mine is almost 3... she's upstairs in my bed watching cartoons... and occasionally yelling the down the stairs that she loves me :)

Tis the life.

Ben and Shara said...

I love these pictures that you are taking of little james. I need to get you to come over and take pictures of Eva. I have the worst camera and I'm missing important milestones. It is passing too quickly

Candice said...

Has it been a month already? Time is flying. I am glad that you are recording all of these feelings. Surprisingly, without the written word, we forget.

Steve and Dayna said...

What a sweet post. James is so cute in that pic. I love knowing it only gets better- gets me excited for what is to come.

Dang, I can't believe I haven't come to see you yet. Life has been busy. I am going to call you here very soon.